Rude Awakening
by PirateEnvy
Summary: Sorry I had to repost these in chapter format is all
1. Rude Awakening

I woke up on my couch to the blinds wide open, the sun hitting my face with its warm fingers. I got up off the couch slowly and walked around the house for a little while when I heard a loud banging on my door.

"Antonio, you bastard, where are you! Let me in!" screamed Lovino as he kicked at my door.

"I'll be right there, hold on!" I yelled from across the house.

When I opened the door Lovino rushed in like he was being chased. He quickly sat on my couch and started yelling at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he started to scream at me.

"What did I do?" I asked not understanding what was going on.

"Why would you tell people that?!"

"Tell people what?"

"That you and me are a couple!"

"I did it as a joke. I didn't know that you would act this way towards it otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."

"Your sorry means nothing to me, bastard!" he said getting up from the couch and leaving. "You better fix everything with everyone!" he said slamming the door behind him.

I didn't realize what I had done until he left the house furious. I was mad at myself for screwing things up with Lovino, I mean, I really do like him a lot and I want him to know this too. How can I do that if he won't listen to a word that I have to say, he's so stubborn sometimes. I just stayed at my house doing nothing for the past week hoping that Lovino would come knocking on my door and hug me saying he was sorry for acting like a child but, even I knew that would never happen. I kept waking up day after day waiting for the door to magically open. Then I realized that if I wanted any of that stuff to happen I was going to have to confront Lovino myself and deal with the pain that was going to come with it. I got up and got ready to go over to Lovi's. When I arrived at his house, I was nervous. I knocked trying to pull myself together before the door opened. The door opened only to show Lovi's eye.

"What do you want, bastard." he said slurring his words.

"Can I come in?" I asked, shaking a little bit.

He opened the door and lead me to his den where I sat down on one of his little leather, brown chairs. 'These chairs are way more comfortable than you would think' I thought to myself. He sat down in the chair across from me his composure loosening like he was telling me to calm down with his body.

"Okay so why are you here?" he asked

"I came to say I'm sorry for making you mad.

"I already told you I your sorry means nothing to me."

"I still just came by to tell you I didn't mean to upset you in anyway, Lovi."

"Just get out now before you do something embarrassing." he said pointing at the door.

I got up off the soft chair and let myself out and went back home. Later that evening Gilbert and Francis came over to hang out with me.

"What's up, the awesome me is ready to party. What about you Francis?"

"Honhonhonhonhonhon, you know it!"

"I'm sorry guys I'm not up for a party tonight."

"Why not. I'm ready to get my drink on!" yelled Gilbert as he jumped up and down.

They both dragged me off of my couch and put me in Francis's car. we were going to party at a club near Gilbert's house.


	2. Club Crash, Drunk Men, and Hangovers

When we arrived at the club I sat still in the car being depressed over Lovi. Francis and Gilbert were frustrated with me, I could tell. They took me out of the car and carried my sad ass into the club. The club was filled with bassy music and beautiful women, none as beautiful as Lovi though. I went to the bar and got myself a drink. Gilbert came with me to get himself a drink also.

"You feeling any better?" Gilbert asked.

"No not really, I can't get him out of my head."

"Don't worry, Francis and I will help you get over him."

Gilbert then got up and grabbed my arm. He swung me around the dance floor like a ragdoll. His white hair flying everywhere as he danced around, he let go and started to dance with a group of girls. He looked over to me and gave me that 'see what you're missing' look, I didn't pay any attention to him whatsoever. I walked back to my seat at the bar and got hammered and then started to dance around with all kinds of people. When out of the corner of my eye I saw Lovino dancing with who looked to be Matthew. I got out of the dancing circle and walked over to talk to Lovi.

"Hey Lovi!" I screamed over the music.

He looked my way with his beautiful hazel eyes which pierced my heart. Matthew also looked my way, glaring at me.

"What do you want, bastard"

"Can I talk to you at the bar?"

"Fine."

We walked over to the bar leaving Matthew to his glaring and hatred. When we sat down I ordered a drink for Lovi, being polite. He took it and sipped on it while I tried to beg for forgiveness. he just nodded his head like he was telling me to go suck dick. After a long time of begging he finally just poured the rest of his drink on my head and left the club. I went to the restroom to wash off all of the stickiness from my hair. I walk into Francis making out with a girl in the corner, I didn't really care, the feelings of rejection were harsh on my fragile heart. I washed out the gooey substances from my hair and tapped Francs on the shoulder telling him that I was walking home, he just shooed me away. I walked out of the club lonely and broken. I got home and took a shower when I went to lie down on my bed, I was restless, I couldn't stop thinking of Lovi. How my heart got crushed over his rejecting me tonight was crazy, I don't think I'll ever love again. When I finally closed my eyes I heard a knock at the door, thinking it was Lovino, I jumped out of my bed and rushed to get to the door but, when I opened it and there stood my two drunk pals babbling away. I let them in and they went right for my couch and crashed there for the night. I went back to my bed and fell asleep when I awoke my head was pounding like someone driving a nail through my skull. I walked to my living room and my friends were still passed out, hung over, on my couch. They moaned and groaned when they awoke, pushing each other off the couch.

"Get off of me, dummkopf." groaned Gilbert.

"Okay, okay." murmured Francis as he rolled around.

"I think you two need a shower, you stink." I told them.

"What about you, broken one. How was your rejection last night?" said Gilbert with a taunting tone.

"Shut up!" I yelled

After some more arguing they finally took turns taking showers and leaving my house. It was lonely and empty, again, like when Lovino left furious. That anger still lingered in my living room.


	3. Suicide Attempts?

After Gilbert and Francis left I started to think about dark things like death and if Lovi cared for my life anymore. It worried me so I went to my tomato garden to calm my thoughts down a little. When I went to my garden I realized that I used to pick the tomatoes especially for Lovi. I started to get sad and I felt myself tear up so I walked inside my house and sat on my bed for hours on end waiting for my death.

Attempt 1: I was sitting and I thought about drowning myself in tomato juice. I got a bunch of tomatoes and juiced them into my bathtub filling it with all the juice. I then lie down in it and dunked my head in it holding my breath for a long time, or so I thought. I kept trying to drown myself until I realized I couldn't do it on my own I thought about calling someone to help me then I realized that they would want me to go to a therapist for help.

Attempt 2: After I cleaned all of the tomato juice out of my bathtub I gathered most of my tomato vines and tied them together, making them as strong as a bundle of sticks. I then tied them to the tallest branch of my tree in my backyard. I set a stool underneath where the vine was and I got on the stool, balancing myself on it to where I wouldn't fall until it was time. I stuck my head in the hole that I tied just big enough to fit my head. I took a deep breath and thought about what I was about to do and then kicked the stool with my foot. As I fell I felt the vine tighten on my neck my heart was pumping faster and faster. Then the vine snapped sending me the rest of the way down to the ground landing on the stool. I got up mad at myself and cleaned up the mess I had made.

Attempt 3: I went inside and threw away all of the vines that I had ripped apart. I went to my room and got out some of my replacement strings for my guitars. I wrapped one end of the smallest string around my thumb and the other end around my forefinger. As I pressed the string on my wrist as hard as I could and ran it across my wrist I started to see the blood emanating from my wrist. I made my heart pump to see all the blood. Then I repeated the same thing on the other wrist. I then slowly started to lay down on my floor in my bedroom and drifted off. A few seconds later the bleeding stopped, it turned out I wasn't even close to touching the main artery in m wrist. I tried it at least 3 more times before I finally gave up cause I wasn't even touching the artery. I kept thinking to myself that there wasn't a reason to live if Lovi didn't want anything to do with my existence.

Attempt 4: I cleaned up the bloody mess off of my floor and threw away the cut up guitar string. I went to the store and bought shit loads of tequila, went back home, and started to drink away. After I was totally wasted I lied down on the kitchen floor and realized how much I hated tequila. I didn't get any sleep that night because I was puking my lungs out. I taught myself to never drink tequila again for as long as I lived.

I was done with trying to die over Lovi so I called over the guys to have a party. We went to another club and I didn't even care if Lovino existed or not I was having fun being surrounded by all these girls that wanted me more than ever.


	4. Aww, Party's Over? Already!

When I was done partying I didn't go home at all I stayed over at Gilbert's and we ended up partying some more before we finally just crashed on the floor. Gilbert woke me up and gave me some really greasy sausage. He said that it was to help with the hangover.

"Thanks." I said getting up slowly.

"No problem, hey, how are you, you know, with dealing with your rejection?"

"I'm doing fine, why do you ask?"

He gave glances like 'you were a horn dog last night'

"What?! I'm over him." I said, giggling a little.

"Whatever man. Okay, when you get cleaned up, we'll go over to his house."

"No!"

"Aha, see, you're not over him quite yet. But I'm serious we're gong to his house when you get cleaned up."

"Fine."

I got done eating the sausage an took a shower. When I got done cleaning up we packed up in Gilbert's car and went to Lovi's. When we arrived Gilbert jumped out of his car and ran up to the door. He knocked and nobody answered he knocked again and we heard screaming from across the house. Lovino opened the door and he didn't look to happy as always.

"Good morning, sunshine!" said Gilbert as I was walking up to the door.

"Oh, it's you again." Lovino said with anger in his voice.

"Ya, it's me again." I said kind of nervous.

"We need to talk to you." Gilbert said as he was trying to force his way into the house.

He let us in and we all walked into the den and once again sat down on those comfortable chairs. We sat in silence for a while and exchanged glances over and over until finally Gilbert broke the silence.

"Antonio wants to tell you something."

I was kind of put on the spot there but I managed to make my words come out comprehensive.

"I want you to be my friend again, please."

"No I don't care what you say that so called 'joke' you pulled wasn't funny. It hurt me, a lot, I don't care what you have to say to me just say it now and let's get this over with."

"I want you to be my friend again I'll do anything for you to forgive me. Please Lovi, I beg you to forgive me."

"No. What you said was unforgivable. Now get out, both of you."

He got up and left us sitting there, alone, I got up and left, broken and lost. When Gilbert dropped me off he asked if I wanted to go to a party with him and Francis. I gave a slight nod in response. I opened my door slowly and walked in the house, it was empty, abandoned, lonely. I cleaned up the house a bit before my friends came over to go to the party. When I was finished I took a shower. I stood in the shower for a long time just staring at the wall. I finally got out and got ready. When I heard a knock at the door I rushed to answer it thinking it was Lovi but, it was my friends waiting for me. We got in the car and went off to the party.


	5. Getting My Mind Off Of Things

When we arrived at the party I got out and looked around. The house looked familiar, it was Francis's house. I haven't been here very often at all so this was new to me. I went inside and there were so many people that I didn't feel like I was in a house at all. I looked around for a little while and went to sit at the bar.

"Oh, no you don't, you're coming to the dance floor." Gilbert said pulling me.

"Fine I'll dance for a little while but, then I'm going to get a buzz later."

"Fine with me."

After a while of dancing I went and got a drink then sat down in a chair in a corner of the room. I watched as all of the happier souls were up and dancing around. 'Why do I even go to these parties' I thought.

"To get my mind off of things." I said to myself.

"Then why do you constantly mope around every time you go to one, mon ami.(my friend)"

I jumped cause I didn't realize that someone was listening to me talk to myself. It was Francis who was looking at me with a concerned look on his face.

"I don't know."

"Oh." he said, sitting next to me. "Well tell me what has been making you so sad."

"Well, you know that party at Ludwig's."

"Yes."

"Do you know what I kept telling everyone?"

"No, I don't remember a lot from that party."

"I kept saying that Lovino and I were together, as a joke but, he took it the wrong way and that's why he's mad at me."

"Sounds like to me that he was just acting a bit childish."

"I know, I even told him it was a joke."

"Well friend to friend, I think anyone would be lucky enough to be with you."

"Oh, umm thank you?"

"No problem. Do you want more beer?"

"Ya, sure."

Francis went and got us some more liquor and when he came back we started to bullshit with each other. After a while we were both drunk and we were still bullshitting in the corner.

"Hey." Francis said with more concern in his eyes than anything.

"What?" I responded.

"I'm really sorry about Lovino and that you two aren't getting along." he said giving my leg a reassuring rub.

"Oh, thank you. But I really don't need your sympathy."

I didn't really notice what Francis was doing but I was too sad and drunk to realize what was going on. Francis started to slowly run his hand up my thigh and leaned in closer to me.

"What are you doing Francis?"

"This is how people comfort on another in my country."

"Oh."

I just went along with it all he leaned in a little closer and he kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. He broke the kiss slowly and took my hand.

"Come with me." he said.

"Umm ok." I said still thinking I was being comforted.

When we entered a different room I was kind of confused but went along with it. He closed the door and told me to sit on the bed. I did as he asked and sat down on the bed. He sat next to me and slowly began to lean towards me. He started to take my shirt off and pushed me into a laying position on the bed. Then he kissed down my body to my pants and he took my pants off with his teeth and I took his shirt off slowly. 'He wants to fuck me' I started to think as I hesitantly took of Francis's pants. After he took my underpants off I started to think 'Ah, what the hell, if Lovino won't love me at least I know someone who will.' I started to go with everything and take his underwear off. He kissed me up and down my body as I scratched him down his chest. Then he put his fingers in my mouth and I whined a little as I sucked on his fingers. Next he took his fingers out and put one in me. I whined as he was fingering me.

"What's wrong." he asked to all my whining.

"Nothing."

He stuck another finger in and then another until he had three fingers in me and he was fingering me deep and hard to where I was moaning really loud. Then he took his fingers out of me and put himself in me. I moaned and scratched Francis a little, he smiled and pumped faster and harder. After I scratched him a bit more he squeezed me and I started to breathe heavy. Then the door opened and a light shined on us from the hallway but, that didn't stop us.


	6. Well this is awkward

The light didn't stop us at all until I realized who was standing at in the doorway, it was Lovino. At that moment I was disgusted with myself. Lovino ran away from the scenario he saw crying. I stopped and pushed Francis away, got dressed and ran after Lovino. When I caught up to him he was crying in the front yard on his knees. I went to try to comfort him but, he pushed me away over and over as I kept trying to put my arm around him.

"Please let me comfort you." I asked.

"NO, Bastard, I was coming to apologize for being childish but, now I see that you love Frances instead."

He ran away crying and screaming. After the fact that I realized what I had just done to poor Lovi I got up and walked home from the party. When I got inside my house I went to bed automatically and slept. When I awoke I didn't feel like I was home at all, I felt empty, undone, not whole. I was torn at what I had ruined with Lovino. He would never forgive what I had done to him. I felt crazy and very unhealthy at the choice I ha made last night. I walked to Lovino's after I had gotten ready for the day. When I knocked there was no answer, I knocked again and there was still no answer. I finally realized the door was slightly cracked open so, I pushed it open and walked inside and walked around the house a bit. After I wandered into the bathroom I found Lovi in the bathtub covered in blood and still in his clothes from last night. I panicked and picked him up as fast as I could and set him in the car then I rushed to the Emergency Room where Lovi was revived and put on an I.V. for a while. I was sitting in the waiting room twiddling my thumbs waiting for a man in a white coat to come and tell me that Lovi was ok. Then finally a man came and told me that he was ready to see me when I walked into the white room, I saw him lying there sickly looking and pale.

"Hey, Antonio."

"Yes Lovi?"

He looked away with tears in his eyes and he just sat there pouting. I felt bad and kept apologizing for what I did to him. He just sighed and never said a word. Then finally I said something.

"Okay then I'm just going to leave because obviously you don't want me around."

"No, please don't, I don't want you to leave me here. I don't like it, I'm alone here..."

"Then why won't you let me say sorry!" I said trying to wipe his tears.

"Because what you did was unforgivable."

"Well my explanation is..I was drunk and I didn't think you would care because I didn't think you loved me."

"Well..I-I do Antonio, I do." he said, his voice cracking a little.

"You Do!?"

He blushed a little before he said he did love me and I went to hug him. For the first time ever in a long time he hugged me back and smiled at me.


End file.
